It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
