Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
