I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
as a side note pls kill me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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