brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
