I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
