We got so high we made milksteak
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
