my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
