is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
