Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
