Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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