i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
