apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
