im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just googled if crying burns calories
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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