Nicole vs. Life
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
