She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
