im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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