Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
