Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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