You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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