Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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