I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have fence marks all over my body
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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