Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
