You're completely useless in the revolution.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
