My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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