im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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