I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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