I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I deserve to be covered in dicks
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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