69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
