Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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