Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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