i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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