Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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