Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
