Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
