i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm really busy with my period
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