Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Bring me that man meat
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
