Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
