he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
