there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
