Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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