she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
