i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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