So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
