There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
