Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
