R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
