we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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