hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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