I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
