im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
